


A Single Father, His Daughter, and Their Prince

by bulletincookie



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: (oh my god does he try), Fluff, Geralt is a single dad, M/M, Modern AU, and he tries, does this count as, fairytale AU, for Geralt and Ciri at least, rating may change later, self indulgent fluff, sure why not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22670794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bulletincookie/pseuds/bulletincookie
Summary: After reading a fairytale to Ciri one night, Geralt wakes up in the morning with a stranger in his bed claiming to be the prince from the same fairytale. Now he has a child to take care of, and a stranger that is definitely delusional or on drugs to deal with.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 79
Kudos: 330





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> New fandom, same shenanigans >:3c

Geralt tried to be a good father. He really did. He didn't say no to Ciri. Even if others her age thought themselves to be too old for bedtime stories, she still loved them. So when she came back home chattering about a book she got from the shop next to the school for only a pound, it was no surprise that night when she shoved the book into Geralt's hands and demanded he read it to her. With voices.

Geralt couldn't say no, so that's how he found himself sitting on the edge of her bed that night, reading the fairytale. He had to give the author credit, it was more original than the usual story. A flamboyant prince who wished to spread his music and love to a world full of misery and sadness under a false name and the guise of a humble troubadour. He saved princesses left and right with his music, never requiring their hand in marriage in return. So that's why Ciri liked this book so much. She had been turning more into an independent thinker lately.

Geralt finished the book up and closed it gently, knowing how specific Ciri was with the books. "The end. Good night."

"We have to work on your handsome prince voice. Prince Julian wouldn't be so grumbly," Ciri mumbled as she settled into her fluffy blankets.

"Okay," Geralt agreed as he stood and tucked her in. He probably wouldn't have to reread the story much, there was no point in getting the voices perfect.

"Do you think you'll find a Prince Julian?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You're like the dragon." Ciri opened the book to the end, where the prince was singing in front of a dragon that wasn't truly evil, only lonely. "You need a prince to come sing for you."

Geralt raised an eyebrow. "I'm alright Ciri."

Ciri gave him a look of disbelief, but Geralt tried to ignore it as he took the book back and closed it again.

"Get some sleep," he muttered. "Good night."

"Good night," Ciri replied as she closed her eyes. Geralt turned the light out and closed her door quietly behind himself as he went into his own bedroom to sit on his bed. He glared down at the book accusingly, as if it was responsible for Ciri's worrying about him. He sighed heavily and laid on his back on the bed, opening the book to a random page again and holding it above himself as he reread it out loud.

"'A fair maiden such as yourself deserves a marriage of love and choice, and I desire true love'," he read softly. He repeated the line to himself several times, changing the tone and pitch. There really was no point in figuring out how this ridiculous, colorful figure in the book spoke, but he knew it might make Ciri happy to surprise her tomorrow night with a voice more fitting for the prince.

He had underestimated exactly how tired he was though, and before he knew it he was fast asleep with the book open on his chest.

\----

Geralt's alarm went off in the morning, blaring in his ear. He groaned and flopped his arm around until he hit the snooze button, and it was silent again. He sighed in relief and draped his arm over his eyes, finally noticing a weight against his side. Ciri must have had a bad dream and curled up with him during the night.

Except the weight beside him grumbled and stretched out. Ciri wasn't almost as tall as him, and certainly didn't have a voice that deep. Geralt's eyes flew open and he immediately was sitting up, his hand grasping the knife under his pillow.

A young man was laying on his bed, slowly blinking his eyes open. At least he was clothed, but the ridiculous and flamboyant clothing he was in almost was as bad as nothing. Not to mention the strange instrument next to him, was that a lute? Geralt ignored it.

"Who the hell are you?" Geralt hissed, pinning the man to his bed and holding the knife against his throat. The man blinked up at him with wide eyes that were such a bright blue-- _not the time to think about that_ , Geralt silently scolded himself.

The man looked downright frightened and just as confused as Geralt felt. "Wh-- Who--"

"Tell me first," Geralt snarled. "Who are you and how did you get in here?"

"I'm-- I'm Jaskier, a troubadour from the slums of--"

"Do you think I'm an idiot?!"

"Okay okay, fine! I'm Prince Julian, if you kill me you'll regret it! My parents, they will send the entire guard looking for me, they'll--"

Geralt pressed the knife closer. "Try again. I'm not believing some fairytale."

"It-- It's the truth, good sir, I promise you!"

"How did you get in here?"

"I don't know! One moment I was lounging about, playing for some beautiful fairies, and the next I woke up next to a very terrifying man-- you are quite gorgeous I might add, are you single?-- and with this!" The man gestured as best he could to the knife Geralt had still pressed against his skin.

Now Geralt didn't know what to think. Was this man…trying to flirt with him while he had a knife to his throat? He was definitely on some sort of drugs, despite how clear his eyes looked. His confusion made him pull the knife away just a bit, and the man visibly relaxed.

"Can you please put that away now? We can talk like civilized gentlemen, can we not?"

The alarm going off again dragged Geralt's attention away from the man. Ciri had to get to school. He growled and sat up to turn it off, still keeping a tight grip on his knife and a close eye on the strange man as he stood.

"Follow me. If you try anything…" He left the threat hanging in the air, and the man swallowed and nodded.

"Yes sir! I will be as quiet as a mouse sneaking up on a dragon, did you hear of that by the way? It was quite brilliant if I do say so--"

"Shut _up_." Geralt held the knife out again. The man's eyes widened and he scooted away, grabbing the lute as if it could protect him.

"Yep, alright, shutting up now."

Geralt gave a nod and motioned for the man to follow him as he left his bedroom and headed for the kitchen. "Prince Julian" followed him carefully, his eyes wide as he looked around at everything they passed.

They finally reached the kitchen, and Geralt motioned to the table. "Sit down, and don't move."

For some reason, the man seemed incapable of following two directions at once, because the moment he sat down he started to babble on again while Geralt got a pan out. "Oh brilliant, are we having breakfast? That's very kind of you, I am starving and I'm sure a man of your stature cooks a fine meal."

"Quiet," Geralt hissed, but it was too late. He heard Ciri's door open down the hall, with Ciri poking her head into the kitchen a moment later. Her eyes immediately landed on the flamboyantly dressed stranger.

"Who's this?" she asked, padding over to the counter to sit on it as she yawned. Geralt grunted and nudged her off so he could work, about to explain that it was a delusional drug addict that somehow made his way in last night, but the man stood up and bowed with a flourish.

"I am Jaskier, a humble troubadour from--"

"Stop," Geralt cut him off, and looked at Ciri. "Ignore him. He's an idiot, probably on drugs. I'm dropping him off at the station after I drop you off."

Ciri hummed and strode over to stare up at the stranger with a tilted head. "I don't know, he seems fine."

"I am more than fine young lady, blessed even to make your acquaintance," the man proclaimed in a voice much too loud for it being 6 in the morning.

Ciri laughed and looked at Geralt. " _He_ knows how to do a good handsome prince voice."

"Jaskier" gasped and leaned in. "How did you know my secret identity, young princess?" he whispered.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone," Ciri promised him, patting his arm. Geralt kept an eye on the two to make sure this stranger didn't try anything with Ciri, but he seemed harmless enough. Soon enough there were three plates of food on the table, and they sat down to eat.

"Oh this is marvelous, better than the finest chefs in my castle make!" Jaskier praised.

"You live in a castle?" Ciri asked, her eyes wide.

"Of course! If you provide me with transportation, we will have the best feast! Ale will be flowing like water!"

"Absolutely not. She has school," Geralt cut in, and Ciri pouted.

"But dad, the ale!" she insisted.

"Yes, the finest ale in all of the lands, Sir Dad!" Jaskier insisted through a mouthful of bacon.

Geralt heaved a deep sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Absolutely not. She's far too young."

"Nonsense! How old are you, young princess?"

"Thirteen."

"Perfect! Just the time to have a feast celebrating your coming of age, by having a hearty drink! Preparations must be made immediately!"

"Preparations can be made after she goes to school," Geralt insisted. He would drop Ciri off at school, take the weird man to the police station, and hopefully never have to think about him again.

The two looked delighted at the prospect though, and didn't need any force to leave out the door after breakfast was finished and Ciri brushed her teeth and grabbed her backpack. In fact, it was Ciri that was tugging Geralt out the door with Jaskier trailing behind, his lute now slung over his shoulder.

However, the moment they were outside and Geralt opened the door for Ciri, Jaskier stopped and inspected it with amazement.

"Brilliant, truly brilliant! What sort of magic infused stagecoach is this?" he asked, and Geralt had to almost shove him into the backseat.

"It's a car," he grunted, and got in the front seat to start it up as Ciri turned in her seat to chatter away with Jaskier. Geralt felt a headache coming on, reinforced once Jaskier strummed his lute in demonstration when Ciri asked about it.

This was going to be a long car ride.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh good gods this got a lot more attention than I thought it would!!! You guys are all too kind, I couldn't not write the next chapter immediately after such a warm welcome to the fandom ;A;

It took a lot of convincing Ciri to get out of the car and go to class, yes she could talk more with "Prince Julian" after school now get to class, before she finally left Geralt to figure out what to do with the delusional idiot in his back seat. The delusional idiot who, after Ciri's praises, continued to play his lute and sing to himself even after Ciri was gone.

"Stop singing," Geralt grunted.

"But how else can I show my appreciation for such a lovely carriage ride? There must be some way to repay you."

"You can repay me by telling me where you live, or else I'll drop you off at the police station and you can be locked up until your drugs wear off."

"I assure you, Sir Dad, that I am under no drugs or potions of any sort. My head is perfectly clear," the prince assured him, then pursed his lips and looked out through the window. "Though I do not believe I recognize this place, or any of the buildings. They are quite amazing. In fact...Are you a fairy? Is that where I am? Have I been kidnapped to live with the fairies?"

Geralt tightened his hold on the steering wheel. "Do you ever shut up?"

"How rude! After tricking me to eat your food so I am trapped here, now you are insulting me as well?"

"You aren't trapped here. You can open the door and leave if you want."

Jaskier spared a look out the window and grimaced. "I would rather stay in here. I would hate for my clothes to be ruined."

Geralt heaved a deep sigh. "Then keep quiet."

"Can you at least tell me where you are taking me?"

"The police station. They'll figure out where you live and take you back there. Or something."

"But what about the young princess?" Jaskier asked, and he leaned forward between the seats to look at Geralt with a pout. Geralt didn't bother sparing him a glance, too focused on the road. However, he did remember his promise to her that she would be able to talk with the delusional idiot. He grit his teeth.

"Okay. What do _you_ suggest then?" he ground out. Jaskier brightened up, as if he had a list already prepared.

"Have any dragons you need serenading? I'm quite good at it," he offered, holding up his lute as demonstration.

Geralt opened his mouth to say that no, dragons didn't exist anymore, and to take him to the police station and just wash his hands of the whole thing. Except Ciri would sulk if she came home and found that Geralt broke her promise and the weirdo wasn't around to chat with anymore. She at least deserved a proper goodbye to her new… _friend_. He grimaced at the thought. He needed to lecture her more about not trusting creepy guys that show up out of nowhere and claim to be princes from fairytale books.

He wasn't about to leave this guy alone at his house. That's just asking for things to be stolen. He growled and turned away from the station.

"Fine. You're coming with me to work," he relented with a growl. Jaskier brightened up and flopped back in his seat.

"Thank you Sir Dad!"

"Don't call me that."

"Then what should I call you?"

"Nothing. Don't talk to me."

"Nothing don't talk to me sounds like a long name, can I call you Nothing for short?"

Geralt was so close to shoving him out of the car. Or braking short and make him go flying through the windshield. The idiot didn't wear his seat belt after all, but replacing the windshield would be expensive.

He stayed silent, but apparently Jaskier didn't want to. He sat back in the seat again and continued to pluck idly at his lute.

"...Geralt."

Jaskier's head popped up between the seats again. "Did you say something?"

Geralt resisted the urge to elbow him in the throat. "My name. Is Geralt."

"Oh! Thank you, Sir Geralt!" Jaskier grinned and propped his head on his hand. "A lovely name for a lovely man."

"Stop."

For some reason, that did make Jaskier stop. He sat back again and continued to pluck at his lute as Geralt drove back to his house to start his own routine of getting ready for work. He parked back outside and got out, heading for the door, but stopped when he realized Jaskier still was sitting in the car and giving him a pitiful look.

He returned back to the car and stared at Jaskier, who brightened up at his return and stared back expectantly through the car window.

Geralt gestured for him to get out. "Well?"

Jaskier blinked a couple times at him, comically almost. He tilted his head to the side, not unlike a puppy, and if Geralt wasn't so worried about being late, he would have thought it a little cute. But his job was on the line, and he growled and yanked the door open.

Jaskier beamed and stepped out primly, as if he was stepping out onto a red carpet instead of a dirty, cracked, gum-stained road.

"Thank you, Sir Geralt," he said with a nod.

Geralt sighed heavily and shut the door. He turned and strode up to his house to unlock the door and step inside, Jaskier following.

In fact, Jaskier insisted on following him from room to room. It made Geralt's job of watching him easier, since he didn't have to worry about him trying anything, but it was still a bit odd when Jaskier sat on the counter and smiled patiently while Geralt brushed his teeth, shaved, and half tied his hair back. He didn't try to take a shower, either the stranger would be left alone in the rest of the house to steal or break whatever he wanted (no) or he would have to stay in the bathroom with him (definitely not).

Changing was an exception, since it wasn't nearly as vulnerable as showering. He still noticed the squeak behind him as he stripped off his clothes to pull on the khaki uniform.

"Sir Geralt! Warn a man first, your dignity!" Jaskier cried behind him. Geralt glanced over his shoulder while he pulled up his trousers, to see Jaskier covering his face with his hands. His fingers were still just barely spread though, bright blue eyes peeking through.

Geralt rolled his eyes and grumbled out a comment under his breath about Jaskier's lack of subtlety as he continued to get dressed. He had just finished buckling his belt when he heard Jaskier get up and take a few steps towards him, and he whirled around.

Jaskier flinched back and held his hands up, as if he startled an animal. "Sorry I, ah, just…wanted to see the history of your battles in more detail."

"My what."

"Your scars." Jaskier pointed to the several scars littering Geralt's skin. "You must truly be a famous knight if you took so many wounds in battle and survived."

"Not a knight."

"No? But then how--"

"None of your business. Sit down."

Jaskier sat back down in the chair, his mouth pressed into a thin line. "I apologize if I hit a sore spot, I thought they looked quite handsome on you and wanted to see them better."

Geralt gave a noncommittal grunt in reply as he quickly tugged on his shirt and buttoned it up to hide the marred skin. He could feel Jaskier's disappointment from across the room.

Geralt sighed and shifted a bit in the uniform. Yennefer never ordered the right size for him whenever they had to order new ones, which was more often than he'd like because of the fabric ripping _because he never had the right size._

He shook the thought off and tucked everything he needed in his shirt pockets, then gestured for Jaskier to follow as he headed for the kitchen again.

"You don't want to eat the shit they serve at the zoo. So what do you want to have for lunch?" he asked flatly, already getting out everything he needed for his own lunch.

"I think a roast pheasant with a light wine would do well enough, I'm still quite full from breakfast," Jaskier mused. Geralt grabbed the bag of sliced turkey from the refrigerator.

After a lot of decoding whatever came out of Jaskier's mouth, they finally had two packed lunches. Geralt had his usual study, insulated bag, and gave Jaskier one of Ciri's old lunchboxes with bright, colorful ponies on it. Jaskier marveled at it, turning it this way and that.

"Don't move it so much, you'll bruise the apple," Geralt muttered as he led Jaskier back to his car. He opened the passenger door for him out of habit for Ciri, and Jaskier gasped and beamed in excitement.

"Oh, what an honor! To ride up front with the driver, much more than this humble bard deserves," Jaskier said, practically swooning as he got in. "You truly are a kind and noble--" Geralt closed the door and took the long way around the car to get in the driver's seat and head off.

Geralt wished he didn't work so far away. It would be less time dealing with the bratty prince who asked every five seconds about this or that or the other thing, and when his mouth wasn't chattering away questions, he was humming or singing along to different melodies he played on the lute. It would be easier to hate it if he was bad, but even Geralt had to eventually admit to himself that even if he was crazy, Jaskier knew how to play well. The notes slowly drifting from the passenger seat actually became quite soothing after a while, once Jaskier found a melody he liked and stuck to it.

Finally, after all too long of a ride, Geralt got to the zoo and stepped out of his car. He stared blankly down at Jaskier, who stared back at him with a bright smile through the glass. He sighed and opened the door for him. It was almost too tempting to trip him as he got out so delicately. It was a wonder how the man made anything look delicate still with a lute slung over his shoulder and a child's brightly colored lunchbox in his hands.

They went up to the entrance, which already had a few early visitors that wandered while it was still quiet. Geralt showed his ID to the person at the ticket window, and handed over the money for Jaskier's brightly colored paper wristband.

Geralt took the strip of paper and led Jaskier to a nearby bench to set his lunchbox down on. He took Jaskier's hand in his own, trying not to think about how lithe his fingers were, or how the rough calluses on his hands were a sharp contrast to how smooth and soft the rest of his skin was. He carefully fastened the strip around Jaskier's thin wrist and gave his hand a small pat.

"There. Don't take it off," he grumbled, and moved to grab his lunchbox again, only to have his hand held tight in Jaskier's surprisingly strong grip. It wasn't strong enough to hold him, but it was enough to get his attention. He gave a small tug. "What?"

"Hm?" Jaskier looked at him with a smile, his eyes sparkling with a bit of mischief. "What if we were to get separated in a crowd? I wouldn't have my noble knight to protect me."

"Not a knight," Geralt grunted, but let Jaskier hold onto his hand anyways. It was easier to just let him do what he wanted than deal with the pitiful look he might receive instead. Besides, an idiot running free in the zoo in flamboyant clothes and a lute was much more of a danger. So he led Jaskier to the employee station, already cursing the headache this day was going to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of your support!! Hugs for all of you ❤️❤️❤️


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should really be slowing down with these updates before I get too carried away, but I wanted to introduce MY QUEEN!!!!! I love Yennefer okay she's wonderful

Geralt tried his hardest to let go of Jaskier, to tell him to wait outside of the door that said "Employees only" until he got back. But Jaskier only gave him those pitiful, bright blue puppy eyes and a slight pout twisting his lips as he held firmly onto Geralt's hand, and Geralt decided it was easier to just drag Jaskier in, clock in, apologize for the civilian being brought into the employee lounge, and then drag him back out to wherever he had to go.

However, the moment he entered the building, he was immediately greeted by Yennefer sitting in the armchair of the lounge, an amused smile on her face.

"Who is this you've been dragging around?" she asked. Of course she was watching through the cameras.

"Hello to you too Yen," Geralt grumbled. "Good to know you've been spying on me again."

"I'm doing my _job_ Geralt. So who's the 'civilian'?" she asked again, her thin fingers forming air quotes to mock how Geralt referred to people not working the zoo.

Jaskier, who had been so amazed at everything so far and didn't shut up about any animal they passed by on the way, now was amazingly quiet. He didn't even step forward to introduce himself in the same bold and loud fashion he had with Ciri. Geralt felt a bit of relief, though he spared a glance and saw that Jaskier was giving Yennefer a suspicious look from behind his shoulder.

"This is, er, Prin--" Geralt was cut off by Jaskier's hand clapping over his mouth, and he instinctively bit down and elbowed Jaskier in the gut, sending him stumbling back. Geralt snapped out of it before he could kick Jaskier in the jaw, though it took a moment of freezing in the stance to do so before he straightened up.

Jaskier wheezed and doubled over. "I'm-- a humble bard. Jaskier."

Right. The stupid "secret identity". Geralt rolled his eyes, though he did feel bad about his quick reaction. He cleared his throat and grabbed Jaskier's hand again. It would be enough of an apology, he hoped.

Yennefer stayed in her spot and said nothing, though the same cat-like smile stayed on her face.

"Sir Geralt, you are as strong of a fighter as your scars claim," Jaskier coughed as he carefully stood up again. He did look relieved though at Geralt grabbing his hand again, and he gave him an appreciative squeeze.

"Sir Geralt?" Yennefer echoed, quirking an eyebrow.

"Shut it," Geralt grumbled, pulling Jaskier to the wall to clock in, though his shoulders tensed when he saw the schedule of where everyone was to be.

"Hurry up Geralt, you can't leave those starving bunnies to waste away," Yennefer teased.

"You had a part in this didn't you," Geralt retorted, more of an accusation than a question.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I work security Geralt, not management."

Geralt scoffed at that. "Bullshit." He tossed his and Jaskier's lunchboxes in the refrigerator, in the back where nobody would touch them. "Come on Jaskier."

"Where are we going?" Jaskier asked, his eyes sparkling.

"Thanks to a _certain_ witch," Geralt cast an annoyed glance at Yennefer, "the petting zoos."

"Give Marshmallow a carrot for me!" Yennefer told him, making him stop in his tracks and grit his teeth.

"I told you, rabbits shouldn't eat carrots. It's not nutritious, they need greens," he said, glaring at her over his shoulder. "And if I find one in the feed, I know exactly who to blame."

Yennefer leaned back in the seat and took a sip of water. "And what are you going to do about it?"

A growl came from Geralt and he tugged Jaskier out of the building.

Jaskier huffed and gave Geralt's hand a squeeze as they tread to the petting zoo. "Don't worry Sir Geralt. I'm very experienced with evil witches. I'll take care of her next we see her," he declared.

Geralt couldn't help but chuckle a bit at that, and he ignored the way Jaskier puffed out a bit at that, like a bird preening. "She's not--" he sighed. It wasn't worth arguing. "...What are you going to do, annoy her to death?"

"Precisely! I will sing to her until she cannot take anymore and leave. Everyone knows that evil witches are too full of hate and misery, they cannot stand large quantities of joy. My singing will drive her from these lands!"

Geralt rolled his eyes and shook his head. "She's not evil, Jaskier."

"She spied on you and knew I was here!"

"It's her job to watch over the zoo. It's what she does to keep actual evil people out."

"Hmm." Jaskier furrowed his brow, trying to figure it out.

"Hmm," Geralt agreed, glad he at least found a way to stump the prince-- the delusional person-- to being quiet for a bit.

\---

At least, it lasted until he got to the petting zoo areas and unlocked the gates and opening all of the hutches and stables that the pygmy goats, rabbits, sheep, llamas, and alpacas stayed in overnight.

Jaskier immediately let go of his hand and dashed for the rabbits as they lazily loped out. He fell to his knees in the dusty area and trembled as he reached a hand out, looking like he was about to cry. Geralt was pretty sure he saw a few tears slip out when one of the angora rabbits poked over curiously to see if he had any food.

As Geralt went about making sure the food for all of the animals was refilled and none of them were showing signs of sickness, Jaskier stayed in the same spot in the dirt as more and more rabbits were attracted to him. A few even got on his lap, and now Geralt really did see a few tears slip down Jaskier's cheeks.

"Are you allergic?" he asked. The last thing he needed was a lawsuit. However, Jaskier shook his head and sniffled.

"Sir Geralt I never want to leave," he cried. "But-- but I can't pet all of them at once, they're all so _cute_."

"They'll survive," Geralt grunted, though he knelt down to scritch behind one rabbit's ear as she came up to get some of the hay in his arms. He couldn't help but give a small smile as he held a small pinch of hay out to her, which she happily took and munched on as Geralt spread the rest of the hay around the area.

As he refilled the water, he heard a quiet song drifting up from the main area and looked over his shoulder to see Jaskier, now sitting cross-legged on the ground with rabbits surrounding him. He had his lute in his arms and he played it quietly as he sang. Several of the rabbits were flopped on their sides around him, and Geralt felt another smile tugging at his lips.

For a delusional stranger, he was quite the singer. Geralt quietly left him to entertaining the rabbits and the few bystanders and children that were now starting to poke around the petting zoos. Several people took photos. It was a picture perfect moment after all, the flamboyantly dressed man sitting in the dirt surrounded by extremely content rabbits while he played an old instrument and sang. The sun was starting to shine down into the area, and it turned Jaskier's hair into an array of chestnut browns and coppers.

Geralt had the briefest idea of asking for a copy of one of the photos, for zoo promotional purposes of course, but shook the idea off as quickly as it came. Every idiot with an instrument would be showing up and scaring the animals more often than not.

He continued to tend to the other animals, though he couldn't help but glance back over his shoulder at Jaskier every once in a while. There was something captivating about him, not just the way the rabbits gathered around him but the way the air seemed softer, gentler around the pen while he sang.

Geralt was shocked out of his thoughts by a pygmy goat headbutting him, and he chuckled and gave it a small pat. "You'll get your food," he assured it, and went to continue his rounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Your comments and kudos fuel me and send me into writing overdrive, I'm having a lot of fun just writing this very self indulgent au idea and I'm glad everyone else is enjoying it too!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hell yeah chapter four!! And on my birthday (February 20)!! Hope you guys continue to enjoy ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ❤️
> 
> Also fun fact I completely forgot the movie Enchanted existed until I posted this and people made parallels to it

Jaskier's playing and singing, surprisingly, lasted all morning. He traveled to each of the pens, so that "there's music for everyone". Every animal was attracted to him, and nosed at him curiously while he played and sang. Geralt wondered where the guy got limitless energy from.

Someone who reminded Geralt of Ciri's description of a "hipster" came up to Jaskier as he took a small break in between songs and chatted with him. Jaskier brightened up as Geralt watched from the corner of the sheep pens. He couldn't hear what Jaskier was saying, but he had pointed to Geralt so it surely was nothing good. The hipster took one glance at Geralt, paled, and quickly excused himself.

There were children that gathered around Jaskier as well, and Jaskier led them in a few songs as he played his lute. The sight might have been cute, and even Geralt found a slight smile tugging at his lips at it, but he shook it off. No, it should not be cute. That is a delusional stranger that he does not trust. Said delusional stranger might have had a soft face and a bright smile, and a singing voice that soothed a bit of tension from his shoulders, but he thought that he was a character from a fairytale and that just was weird.

Despite his apparently limitless energy, Jaskier did have quite a flush on his cheeks and his voice cracked a couple of times. It seemed that fairytale princes were not immune to heat. Geralt walked over to Jaskier, handing him his water bottle silently. He couldn't have the idiot getting heat stroke. Jaskier beamed and took it, taking a long drink.

"Thank you, Sir Geralt! I was getting quite parched," he said as he handed the bottle back.

"Come on," Geralt muttered, and led Jaskier into the shade. Jaskier sighed in relief at the break from the sunlight and leaned against the cool wood of the stable as Geralt continued to keep an eye on the other pens.

They stayed in silence for a few moments before Geralt spoke up. "What did that guy want from you earlier?"

"Which one? You will have to be more specific my dear."

"Don't call me that."

"Well why shouldn't I, if you are so jealous of the advances of another man on me?" Jaskier moved to sling an arm around Geralt's shoulder, only to stumble as Geralt easily ducked and stepped away.

"You pointed at me earlier. When the guy with the beard and bandanna was talking to you," he said simply.

Jaskier tilted his head and was silent for a moment, then grinned. "Oh! The man wished to shoot me, and I told him to redirect his attempts of violence towards you."

"He _what_?!" Geralt needed to hunt that man down, if he was making threats at random visitors. He was just about to grab his walkie talkie when Jaskier spoke up again.

"Yeah, he showed me the weapon he wished to use. I don't understand how it could be used to shoot anything, it was just a small box with a black eye." Jaskier hummed in thought. "Maybe it shot magic from the eye?"

Geralt's shoulders immediately slumped and he sighed as it clicked. "Jaskier. Did this 'box' have a white box on it?" he asked. "Above the eye?"

"Hmm…" Jaskier's brow furrowed. "You know what, I think it did. Why?" He gasped and stood in front of Geralt. "Am I cursed now that I saw it?"

"It was a camera. They're meant for taking pictures," Geralt grumbled. At Jaskier's head tilt-- _he looked too much like a puppy, damn him_ \-- he continued, "If you want the scene of something kept for a long time, you shoot a photo. It's like a painting, but of exactly what you see. And faster."

Jaskier gasped. "Oh, how wonderful! Do you have a camera?"

"Not on me. Come on, let's take a lunch break and I can show you one." Geralt gave a small smile to himself as he called in that he was taking his lunch, for someone to come cover him. Certainly Yen wouldn't mind him intruding on her very carefully organized and important camera room with a curious delusioned idiot who had a very high chance of knocking into something.

\---

As it turned out, Yennefer _did_ mind. She minded a lot. Or at least, she minded Geralt being in the security office. However, she looked at Jaskier and gave a smile that Geralt knew would lead to nothing good.

"Well, I suppose if it's to spare you at least one point of IQ, I can humor you," she said as she turned and pulled Jaskier none too gently into the security office.

All Geralt heard was Jaskier asking "What's a point of IQ?" before Yennefer closed and pointedly locked the door behind them. He tried to press his ear to the metal door as quietly as he could, only to have a sharp smack on the other side send him reeling back with a grimace. He scoffed and went to the refrigerator to grab his lunch, slumping down on the couch with it.

He ate quickly, as he was used to, trying to put his mind off of whatever the hell Yennefer could be talking to Jaskier about. Not that he was particularly concerned for either of them, but he had a very limited lunch break and he couldn’t trust Jaskier to get back to the petting zoos safely. He might try to climb into an enclosure. That would be far too much paperwork.

Finally, just as he was debating taking Jaskier's lunch, he heard the security door click open down the hall and two sets of footsteps. He looked over his shoulder, trying to look nonchalant as Yennefer and Jaskier strolled back into the main lounge.

"Did you brainwash him Yen?" he asked, seeing the cat-like smile on both of their faces now.

"No, but she told me your secret, _Sir_ Geralt," Jaskier sang, poking Geralt's shoulder. Geralt grunted and half-heartedly waved him away as he glared at Yennefer.

"What did you tell him?"

"That you were a very noble knight from a distant far away land," Yennefer said as she sat down next to him on the couch, her hands folded innocently over crossed legs.

"I'm not."

"That's a lie, Sir Geralt." Jaskier plopped on the couch on Geralt's other side, copying Yennefer's pose. "She told me _alllll_ about you being a selkie knight, and how much you love being called sir."

"Selkie?" Geralt turned to Yennefer, who shrugged.

"I told him you were part of the SEALs over in the states. I guess he took it to mean you are a selkie."

"And I was a fool not to notice it!" Jaskier exclaimed, and he brought one hand up to twirl a lock of Geralt's white hair around his finger. "With such white hair, and scars from awful hunters. But don't worry, I'll keep you and your coat safe."

"I'm not--" Geralt was silenced by Yennefer pinching his lips, and he quickly stood up to get both of them to stop.

"It's best if that's what he thin-- knows," Yennefer assured him.

"Don't tell me you actually believe this idiot?"

Yennefer pulled out her phone in response and pointed it at Jaskier, who yelped and scrambled back with his hands up.

"Watch where you're pointing that!"

Yennefer smiled and tucked her phone back in her pocket. "Sorry, sometimes my wand just controls me a bit, it doesn't like something about you. Can't imagine what," she mused.

Geralt heaved a deep sigh and turned to get Jaskier's lunch out of the refrigerator as Jaskier stammered out a nervous agreement that there definitely was nothing fishy about him. He threw the bag into Jaskier's lap.

"Come on, it's best not to linger around evil witches too long," he grumbled as he clocked back in.

"Oh Geralt, I'm not evil. I only was misunderstood, Jaskier's humble music here clearly helped me see the light," Yennefer teased, feigning an innocent look.

Geralt grunted and grabbed Jaskier's arm, hauling him up and tugging him out of the employee lounge. "Come on, the goats didn't get enough of your music," he muttered, and Jaskier gasped and quickly fell into step beside him.

"Oh, that's terrible! I didn't realize! Should I give them some of my lunch as well?"

"No." Geralt let go of his arm once they were outside. "They can't have human food."

"But what about apples?"

"It was sold specifically for a human to eat. If they eat any of your food, they will be cursed and die."

"Oh." Jaskier looked a little disappointed at hearing that, and Geralt sighed.

"There are treats you can feed them, if they're hungry," he admitted, and had to look away from the bright smile Jaskier gave.

"Really? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"You were busy."

Jaskier pursed his lips but gave a small nod. "Yes, I suppose that was true. But I can feed them now!"

Great. Now he had to spend what little change he had on petting zoo treats. He should've kept his mouth shut.

Geralt led Jaskier to the petting zoo area once again, giving a nod to the employee that covered for him as they left. He went over to the vending machines and stuck a coin in it, a loud clunking noise coming from the old machine as he turned it and scooped out the treats it released.

"Here," he muttered. He handed the pile of treats to Jaskier, who looked as if Geralt handed him the sun itself. Geralt took one piece back and walked closer to the fence, where the goats were gathering near them after hearing the cranking.

"You hold one piece in your hand." Geralt held the piece in his open palm, and a couple of goats herded at the fence to nose at his palm until one of them swiped the treat.

Jaskier followed the motion, his face brighter than the sun as he slowly fed the treats to the goats. Geralt stood by and watched, making sure none of the goats got too aggressive. But they seemed surprisingly gentle with Jaskier, and even took turns getting the treats when Jaskier reprimanded one for trying to steal another one's treat.

Once Jaskier ran out of treats, Geralt turned down the puppy eyes asking for more and instead showed him to spread hand sanitizer from the small pump nearby on his hands. Jaskier wrinkled his nose at the smell, but did so anyways as Geralt led him to a bench close by.

"You can sit and eat here. I'll be over there if you need anything," Geralt instructed, pointing to his chair in the corner of the sheep pens that let him oversee most of what was going on in all of the areas. Jaskier gave a nod and Geralt left to slump down in his chair with a sigh.

It was already a long day, and it wasn't even halfway over.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having a lot of fun writing this!! I hope you guys are having fun reading this, I probably should have mentioned that there is not going to be a single point that this fic takes itself seriously. It's got a plot line of sorts sure, but this is all just for shits and giggles ʕﾉ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

Geralt just wanted to sleep once his shift was done. He wanted to go back home, strip off his uncomfortable, scratchy uniform, and sleep.

Except he still had Jaskier. And Ciri, of course, but Ciri was a teenager and could mostly manage herself as long as the internet was working. When she was there, at least. When Yennefer had her for the evening, worrying about her was unnecessary and would only get him scolded on how “she isn’t a little kid anymore” and retorts from Yennefer implying he was doubting her ability to take care of a teenage girl.

Jaskier was a bit more difficult to figure out what to do with. What was he supposed to do with this sudden stranger that insisted on following him around like a puppy? Taking him to the police to figure out where he lived didn't seem right at this point. Ciri got too attached to people far too quickly.

So that's how he found himself driving back home with the prince chattering away in the passenger seat.

Yennefer had gotten off of work before him, so she took the liberty of picking Ciri up from school with a text sent to Geralt to come to the Mayfly Café for dinner, with a second text sent soon after that added _Ciri says to bring Jaskier._

Simple enough instructions, if he wasn't dealing with a delusional idiot.

"We're going to a…banquet gathering. For Ciri," he told Jaskier once they were back in his home.

Jaskier brightened up. "Oh, wonderful! I shall compose the best of songs for her!"

"Perform it later, you can't bring your lute there."

"I see," Jaskier hummed, tapping his chin. He suddenly gasped and looked down at himself. "Sir Geralt! I'm in no state to be going to a banquet for the young princess!"

Geralt scoffed, the corner of his mouth turned up slightly. "You aren't fit to go anywhere."

"Exactly, look at me! I am covered in dirt and animal hair!" Jaskier whined. "That's it, I must borrow your clothes for the night."

Geralt followed him with a deep sigh as Jaskier marched into his bedroom and threw open the wardrobe. The inside of the wardrobe looked like a void, with all of the black tees and dark trousers that were inside.

Jaskier crossed his arms and frowned. "Sir Geralt, the lack of color and flair in your wardrobe is not acceptable."

"Tragic." Geralt tugged off his uniform piece by piece, ignoring the squeak from Jaskier as the prince scrambled back. He grabbed a shirt at random-- not like it mattered, they were all plain black shirts-- and tugged it on over his head before working on wrestling his trousers on.

"I insist we must go to a tailor posthaste, I need a new outfit for this banquet immediately," Jaskier said somewhere behind him, his voice strained. "But I can't go out while looking like I slept on a road…"

"Just wear this," Geralt retorted. He threw another tee and pair of trousers at him. He would burn them afterwards.

Jaskier yelped and caught the clothes, shuffling in place for a moment. "I, ah..don't suppose you have a screen? For modesty?"

"No. Now hurry up." Geralt at least gave him the dignity of turning around while he changed his outfit, though he still listened closely in case Jaskier tried to grab anything or tried to sneak up on him. He wasn't so sure about that now though, if he was a stranger just pretending to be from a fairytale to try something, wouldn't he have run off at hearing that there was surely no way he could beat Geralt in a fight?

He whirled around at hearing Jaskier rooting in his wardrobe once more, only to find Jaskier smiling as he pulled out Geralt's leather jacket.

"That's mine," Geralt growled, only to get an innocent blink from Jaskier.

"Well of course, who else would it belong to?" the bard asked as he slipped it on. It was fine in length, except the sleeves came just a bit over his palms and the width of it compared to his lithe frame made it seem like he was drowning in it. Yet Geralt couldn't find it in himself to demand it back, to pull it off of Jaskier and hang it back up. It might rip in the scuffle, after all. So he led a very pleased looking Jaskier back outside.

"To the tailor!" Jaskier proclaimed as Geralt opened the door for him so he could leap into the car. Geralt wondered why this had to happen to him as he got in on his side and started it up to drive to the nearest charity shop.

Thankfully, Jaskier didn't question the "tailor", and only started to root through the clothes, holding some up to inspect them closer. Geralt didn't really pay much attention, only enough to make sure Jaskier didn't grab anything too ridiculous or expensive. Not that it was possible to grab anything too expensive, it was a charity shop after all.

A sharp gasp from Jaskier pulled his attention again, and he looked over to see Jaskier beaming with a white shirt that said "Prince Charming" in script on the front, a crown hanging off of the P.

"It's perfect!" Jaskier whispered to him. Or, attempted to whisper. "Get it? Because I am a prince, and I am quite charming, but nobody knows that except you and the young princess!"

"Hilarious," Geralt said, deadpanned. Jaskier handed the shirt to him to hold while he continued to look through the clothes.

It took a much longer time to find a pair of trousers that Jaskier was happy with. He ducked in and out of the changing room several times, looking for the right size. Geralt could have sank to his knees with relief when Jaskier finally found a pair he was happy with. He was so relieved in fact that he didn't even care that Jaskier obviously didn't have any money. He paid for the stupid outfit and left, dragging the prince out before he could change his mind.

Then it was back to the house for Jaskier to change, and _finally_ to the café. Jaskier insisted on keeping the leather jacket "for modesty". Geralt couldn't find it in himself to care anymore.

They walked into the cozy café, where Ciri waved to get their attention. Or, rather, she waved to get Jaskier's attention, and Jaskier immediately bolted over to her while Geralt trudged behind.

Jaskier and Ciri sat next to each other to have a whispered conversation, leaving Geralt to sit next to Yennefer.

"I see you still have him," Yennefer mused quietly.

"I had promised Ciri today that she would see him after school."

"I could have taken him with me to pick her up."

Geralt sighed and glanced at the two, still whispering but peeking glances at him and Yennefer. "He refuses to leave my side. No thanks to you."

"Have you tried to get rid of him?"

He fell silent at that. He really hadn't tried. He had just begrudgingly accepted the crazy stranger, as if it was completely normal to have someone positive he was a fairytale prince follow him around all day at work.

Yennefer smiled knowingly and Geralt gave her a glare.

" _Don't_."

"I wasn't going to say anything."

Geralt growled and focused his attention on the menu as Jaskier and Ciri laughed and straightened up again.

"Daaaaaad," Ciri started.

"Sir Geraaaaaalt," Jaskier added in a sing-song tone.

"Stop calling me that," Geralt grunted as he pulled the menu closer to his face.

"The young princess here was telling me about the wonderful custom of yours of a 'sleepover'," Jaskier cooed, leaning across the table and pulling the menu down with a thin finger. "I would like to learn more about this custom, and there is no better way to learn than experience."

"Hmm." Geralt snatched the menu away and glared down at it again.

"Well, it is a Friday," Yennefer pointed out, her nails clicking against the table as she drummed her fingers. "And Triss has been mentioning wanting to try a new cookie recipe."

Ciri gasped and beamed at Geralt. "Can we?" she asked, looking at Geralt with pleading eyes.

Geralt sighed and set the menu down. "Your place, Yen."

"Only if you come along, _Sir_ Geralt," Yennefer shot back. Geralt sank back into his chair and held the menu up again.

"Don't call me that."

"I'm not hearing a no."

"Fine. But I'm not staying long."

Ciri pumped a fist in the air. "Yes!"


End file.
